Work...

As most know, I currently work for Mediconnect as a Legal Account Manager. Basically I resolve issues and concerns for Lawyers on medical record requests. I have been feeling extremely discouraged about my job lately, well about life as well, but let's chat about work now. In the last week there have been 3 individuals that have been removed from thier jobs. That made me very nervous. You look at the economy and hear that individuals are getting fired and I began to wonder how secure I was in my job. So today I go into to work to learn that our global president was also leaving the company, by his choice. The nice thing about our President is that his door was always open. So this morning I asked if he had a minute to chat. So into his office I go. His first comment was, I take it you have heard the news that I am leaving. I let him know that I had heard and that I was concerned about the company and my job. If I were to loose my job right now, I would be in a world of trouble financially. He then proceeded to let me know that my job and I was completley safe with the company. The company is actually in a better place than it has been in quite some time. I was also informed that our CEO values me as an employee. This was such a relief to hear. Ironically I also heard this from 2 other employees. One had a meeting with our CEO, and was asked who she had been training with. When she stated that she was training with me, our CEO stated, "that is great. Anna is one of our best employees, she knows what she is doing." Then another new employee was in a meeting with our CEO today and our CEO told all of the new employees that if they had any questions that I was a great asset because I know my job and the company and I do a great job. I felt very honored by these compliments and it made me feel much better about my job. It was good to hear these things because life has been a bit rough lately and has taken some very tough changes and turns... I just keep saying to myself, this too shall pass.

A new week

Well it is the start of a new week. I have noticed that the weeks just seen to blend together. Life has become quite boring... Get up, usually late, go to the office, work for 8 or 9 hours, then some days I go and teach, then home... Same old routine day after day. I guess it is time to change things up a bit. I haven't really decided how I am going to do that yet, so I am open to suggestions. I have been seriously considering going back to school in January, but looking at my finances, I am not sure that will be possible. I already have a Bachelor of Arts in Dance Performance and now I would like to work toward a Bachelor's in Chemistry and Criminal Justice. I am also going to start looking for a new place to live. I am tired of my apartment and all of the noise that comes along with it. Saturday night or shall I say Sunday morning about 1:30 there was a huge domestic dispute going on either just outside my bedroom window or at least in the same building. It was a bit scary. I don't want to be around that, so the apartment search is on again. Plus I want to move closer to work, especially with the winter coming and me still driving my little corolla.

Reality

What a week it has been, a very rough week, again. I am amazed at the number of emotions I can feel during the course of a few days. I have had the opportunity to face some realities this week. It was brought to my attention this week that I tend to dwell on the past... As I have been thinking about that comment I have realized that I do love to reminsce about the past, especially college. Those were some very happy times in my life. Now it is time to look to the future and continue to make happy memories. My goal is to look to the future, whether it be a minute in the future, a day, a week, a month... I look forward to making those memories with my friends and family.

Rain

So here it is Saturday Afternoon. So far today I have gone to my sweet little Sabrina's soccer game, where they won! I have done my grocery shopping, cleaned both of the bathrooms in my apartment, gone to the dollar store and to Bed, Bath and Beyond to look for the microbead pillows. They had them, but they were the "U" shaped pillows and that is not the shape I wanted... I was very glad that I got all of this done before the storm hit this afternoon.

I must admit though, I love the rain. I have enjoyed sitting here on my couch watching it rain and listening to the thunder. I love the smell of rain. During and after the rain, everything just smells so fresh and new. It reminds me of the fresh starts we are each blessed with in this life. I am grateful that it is raining. September has been a very dry month and we need to moisture! I would rather it come now in rain, than later on this winter in the form of snow. If we have a winter this year, like last years... I am going to have to buy a new car. My little corolla doesn't handle well at all in the snow. It is so light weight as well. I am amazed that I didn't wreck it last year in a slide off. So let it rain now!

Gratitude for Tribulations

"Tribulations are frightening. And yet the Lord said: 'Be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours." 'And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious' (D&C 59:7)."The kind of gratitude that receives even tribulations with thanksgiving requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit, humility to accept that which we cannot change, willingness to turn everything over to the Lord--even when we do not understand, thankfulness for hidden opportunities yet to be revealed. Then comes a sense of peace."When was the last time you thanked the Lord for a trial or tribulation? Adversity compels us to go to our knees; does gratitude for adversity do that as well?"President David O. McKay observed, 'We find in the bitter chill of adversity the real test of our gratitude . . . , which . . . goes beneath the surface of life, whether sad or joyous' (Pathways to Happiness, comp. Llewelyn R. McKay [1957], 318)."
Bonnie D. Parkin, "Gratitude: A Path to Happiness," Ensign, May 2007, 35 36

Tylenol PM, Retail Therapy, and College Memories

So this is a couple of stories/thoughts all in one.... What a week it has been. The number of emotions I have felt in my body is unimaginably large. I didn't realize that I could feel so many emotions at one time. Along with emotions I have been having anxiety/panic attacks. It is a very strange feeling. Mostly it feels like what I think a heart attack would feel like, then on top of it I have not been sleeping much at all because of the anxiety... That is where the tylenol PM comes in handy. For the first time last night I took 2 tylenol PM's before bed, I finally slept incredibly well. Unfortunately I am now a bit groggy, but it was definately worth it. Maybe the tylenol will help the tendonitis in my knees too! That would be a bonus since I am again teaching 3 days a week and taking a jazz class on Monday nights and a ballet class on Wednesday nights. It feels so good to be taking class again. I have missed dancing. It feels amazingly well to be back in the class room again.

Yesterday, My mom and I went shopping. I needed some retail therapy and it was much more fun to go with someone than go alone. I really wanted a new car when I got up yesterday. Actually I should say I have wanted a new car since about February of 2008, but it has been more of a want lately. I love retail therapy. I didn't buy a new car yesterday, the one I want is a bit expensive right now and I need to wait until my mind is a bit more clear to make that type of a purchase. But when I do buy, I want a Subaru Outback Wagon with a sun roof in a color that doesn't show the dirt. So someday that will be what I buy. On the therapy trip we went to Downeast Outfitters where I bought a darling purple shirt, then it was on to Kohl's because they are always having a sale and their clothes are darling. There I bought 2 sweaters, a grass green one and a mauve one, then I bought a tangerine shirt as well. I love them all, I can dress them up with a skirt or a pair of slacks or dress them down with jeans. I love being able to alter the occasion for the outfit. I also took my mom to the Verizon Store as it was past the time for her to upgrade her phone. I love taking her cell phone shopping. Finally it was time to feed our bodies, so it was off to Applebees. This is where the college memories come in. My good friend from college, Kevin, is a manager at Applebees. He recently moved back to SL for work. Kevin is the type of friend that you can go days, months or even years with out seeing him and then you see each other and it is as though you never spent time apart. My mom hadn't seen Kevin since 1997 or 1998. It was fun to see him again. Our waiter came out and I asked him to please send Kevin out, so our waiter goes back and tells him that Table 10 is angry and so he needs to come out and resolve the problem... I thought that was great. So we talked for a bit and ate, he introduces me to his co-workers as his Ex-Girlfriend, and the co-workers laugh about that a bit. Kevin and I did date in college, but then we each chose a completely different path in life. Kevin had to go and do some work but came back sat down and says... "Anna, I guess I shouldn't introduce you as my Ex-Girlfriend, because we never really officially broke up, we just went our separate ways. I went to NYC and you stayed in Cedar City to finish school." I had to laugh because I never really thought of it that way. I had to giggle a bit, because whenever I see Kevin's significant other, I make the comment that Kevin is and will always be my Kevie... Even though we have both moved on. Ahhhh the memories. I love reminiscing about the crazy, good ol' days, when I could survive on only a couple hours of sleep.

Every Woman

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE.
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a past juicy "Story" that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
one friend who always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a feeling of control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without; ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK
AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust, whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. or a
charming Inn in the woods.... when her soul needs
soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

What a week!

It has been awhile since I posted, so I guess it has time. Plus it has been an eventful week. I spent from Sunday night until Tuesday late afternoon hanging out with my dear friend Tanji and Baby Jay. Tanji had back surgery at the end of August and isn't able to pick Baby Jay up. So I got to help her out with him for 2 days. I must admit, I had a blast. Tanji and I were talking and she asked if me taking care of Jay was helping to diminish my hunger for a baby. Nope, it just made it grow even stronger. I am glad for that. I am excited to eventually become a mom, and no I am not making any announcement. Someday, there will be a sweet little one in my life. I look forward to that day. Tanji's husband, Jimmy was home for a bit on Monday evening for dinner and then we all watched a movie, The Eye. It was a creeper movie. After Jimmy left to go back to work, Tanji and I decided to watch a comedy... What Happens in Vegas. I fell asleep, but Tanji made it thru the movie. Not that me sleeping thru a movie is a surprise. Along with the time spent at with Tanji, Jay and Jimmy, dance started again this week. I am very glad to be back teaching again. I am a again teaching Ballet 4, Ballet 5 and Company Ballet. I have amazing dancers again this year. It is again going to be a very fun year. I love watching the dancers progress in ballet and in life. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to share my love of dance with others. My dancers are my kids as well. I love that aspect. I get to watch them grow and see them get married and have little ones of their own. So I am looking forward to this year!